Bonus: Job Rant/Ramble

I figured since I'll be gone for two weeks and unable to post, I'd go ahead and make a little bonus post, but it's not gonna be a pretty one. As I am using this blog-thingy as some what of a diary and place to put my personal thoughts, I'm gonna go ahead and do this here, but be warned, some people might not be happy after reading this. I'm sorry in advance, but these are my true feelings, and they just need to be out there. I'm sure if you put yourself in my place, (which you'll better be able to do after reading this perhaps) you'd feel the same way or at least understand. I'm not hating, I'm just venting in the best way I know how.
Jobs. Jobs suck. Fundamentally, everyone knows this, yet everyone needs one/wants one. I am at the point where I am both. I do want a job, I desperately want to work in this wonderful world of animals, and yet, it is very hard to even get an interview it seems. The main reason I've spent the last two years of my life here is to give me an edge and get ahead in the job market, I'm sure it's helping, but I'm not sure by how much. I have applied for several jobs, all over the country, doing several different things, and yet, no dice. I unfortunately don't have the luxury of taking a seasonal or unpaid internship position as many of my classmates do. The married life is great, but I'm definitely better understanding the whole "ball and chain" bit. Every day I check the job boards and put myself out there for something new, find myself asking if that's something I even want to do or if it's some place I even want to be. Now, as graduation is nearing, I find myself caring less and less about the gritty details and more about just getting something that pays me money. I'm driving myself crazy. While I seem to be applying willy-nilly across the nation, I also have to consider the hubs and what he can do where. He will make more moneys than myself, that is for sure, so it is very important to consult with him along this super crazy journey. It's rough at times, there have been a few minor tiffs, but nothing major, and really I think we're kind of ignoring it until something concrete pops up (like an actual job offer, or even an interview at this point...). The even worse part is that it seems that his job market is getting just as difficult as mine. Jobs are tight everywhere for everyone, and that's no secret anymore.
As if I wasn't taking all this pressure from myself (trust me, you don't want to be in my head, I'm a real bitch, even to me...) and the hubs, and hearing about all my classmates' job ventures/possibilities, I'm getting it from all other imaginable sides. Anyone else related to me in any way has their own opinion on what I should do (OK, it's mostly the where, they could likely care less about the what), and that's totally understandable. In a perfect world, everyone who means something special to you in any way would all live just a stone's throw away and we'd hang out all day long and have picnics, etc. I cannot deny the fact that it would be amazing to live near the people that I love and miss and have been very separated from for two amazing years, however, I also must deal with the reality that all of those people live in very different places and so no matter what happens, some one loses (in a sense) and there is no possible way to please everyone, so I'm taking the road of pleasing myself (in this case, that also includes the hubs, since, by marriage, he is basically an extension of me). Even pleasing the self is proving insanely difficult. I very much hope that I can end up somewhere where I'm near to at least someone I know, let alone someone related to me that I care dearly about. This is all of the difficult and crappy things that are going through my head and every time I hear another, "when are you moving out here?", or "how about that job in _____?", or "why on earth would you want to live there?" I just want to explode with all of these thoughts in their faces (or ear holes, depending on if they're on the phone...). If I start talking about a place that makes no sense, rest assured, I have a good reason, maybe because there's some super-awesome job that would make me immeasurably happy is hiding there. For those of you that care, (that are hopefully still reading this...) don't worry! I'll take care of me/us and we'll figure it out together. Too many cooks spoil the broth (or something like that). This time the broth is our life, and we'd like to make it together. Rest assured that all of you great crazy lovable people in our lives are also thought of in every decision that we make because you are all a part of us too! (otherwise we wouldn't be so crazy and lovable ourselves...)
Yeah for writing therapy! I hope that wasn't too harsh for anyone, but I hope that everyone reading this has felt like this at some point too. My intention is not to hurt feelings or push anyone away, but to allow everyone to follow along in my crazy mental journey that is quickly becoming an anxiety attack! Thanks for reading, I know writing all this out has actually really helped me a lot.